


Some measure of affection

by heatgeneratingtechniques



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: 5 Times, Developing Relationship, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Out of Character, Randomness, Stream of Consciousness, Unhealthy Relationships, fuck it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 06:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16402652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatgeneratingtechniques/pseuds/heatgeneratingtechniques
Summary: Five times that RK tries to get Gavin to open up.





	Some measure of affection

**Author's Note:**

> just a little something i threw together, don't take it too serious, it wasn't supposed to be this long whoops

The credits of  _ Pacific Rim _ are scrolling past on the TV and Detective Reed is determinedly humping RK’s thigh.

“Hold still for a moment,” RK says.

“Please.” Reed’s hips never stop moving. He's astride RK’s lap on the couch, gasping out puffs of warm air from where his head is buried at the crook of RK’s neck. He's already extremely aroused. “Please?”

He always wants sex the same way. Wants to be roughed up, thrown around, and left with bruises and blood afterwards.

RK’s not in the mood for that tonight.

“I wanted to ask you something, Reed.”

“What.”

“Could I see your face while we have intercourse tonight?”

A change comes over Reed instantly. He stops moving, his face going slack in what appears to be surprise.

“Why? You wanna tell me how fucked up I look?” Reed barks out a laugh, as if he's told a joke.

“Hardly.” RK takes a moment to assemble the best sentence to convey his thoughts. “I’ve found that I've developed some measure of affection for your face, and I would like to see more of it.”

That  _ really  _ makes Reed pause. He actually lifts his head and  _ frowns. _

“Why?”

“Why does any being develop affection for another?”

Reed actually winces. “Don't be like this.”

“Like what?”

Reed gestures vaguely with a hand. “Like this. Saying whatever the fuck comes to mind. All that sappy shit.”

“But I mean it.”

“Yeah, sure you do. I don’t want to hear it.” Reed presses his hips down again. “I just need you to fuck me right now.”

 

 

 

Several nights later, RK has him pinned down against the bed.

Reed is in a fighting mood tonight. He gets like that when he’s restless, RK has learned. Reed wants to get beaten and restrained, helpless as RK drills into him with a strap on.

Tonight, he has a split lip for his troubles.

It puzzled RK at first, the concept of someone willing to do one thing while also seeming to actively fight against it. He chalked it up to one of those human quirks that he’d understand one day.

Connor didn’t seem to have half as much trouble with  _ his _ partner.

It’s taken some wrestling to get them both onto the bed. Reed gets a split lip for his trouble. When RK finally bends him over the mattress, he looks back, baring his teeth in a vile smile.

“Do it,” he grunts. “I need it.”

But then RK hesitates. Beneath him, Reed squirms, red-faced.

“What’s the hold up?”

He rears up, trying to throw a clumsy, but RK catches his fist easily.

“Maybe tonight we take things slower,” RK says. “Take a moment to talk.”

“I-I don’t want to talk.” The words leave Reed in a rush. “C’mon, RK, don’t be like this.” His voice is rising, like a plea. RK doesn't fully understand it, but then he picks up on an increase of moisture in Reed's eyes.

“Gavin?”

“Oh fuck.” Reed turns away. “Fuck you all the way to hell, RK.”

“What?”

“I don't... I don't  _ do  _ this shit, okay? I just want... I just need this sometimes, okay? There's nothing... I don't like talking about where  _ feelings _ come into it.”

“Connor suggested that it might be healthy for our relationship.”

“You told Connor about this? Shit...” Reed stiffens suddenly. “And since when do we have a relationship?”

“We have a work partnership. And sometimes you want me to come to your house and, as you've put it, ‘fuck you blind.’”

“Yeah.”

“It only seemed natural that we explore the other facets of this relationship.”

Reed is shaking his head. “No,” he says. “I don't do that.”

“Do what?”

“That.” Reed spits out the word. “I don't do that shit.”

There are several subjects he could be referencing, but RK settles on the most obvious.

“You don’t do feelings.”

Reed lets out a growl. He tries unsuccessfully to punch RK again. “Just fuck me, you stupid ass.”

 

 

 

It’s been gloomy all day Sunday, alternating between drizzling and downpours. RK goes to Gavin’s house anyway. He finds Gavin in the kitchen, cursing as he runs the faucet over a smouldering pan.

“Fuck this,” he mutters. “I’m ordering pizza.”

“I could make you something,” RK offers.

Gavin’s eyes narrow. He’s thinking, calculating, then shaking his head. “No thanks.”

He gets more talkative once he’s eaten a few slices and downed a few beers. Beside him on the couch, RK’s nursing his second Thirium drink.

“Listen,” Gavin’s saying. “Let me give you some advice.”

“What’s that?”

“Never catch feelings for anybody. Ever.”

RK feels his processes stutter for the briefest moment. “Why?”

“It’s a fucking waste of time.” Gavin takes a long gulp of his beer and sets it heavily onto the coffee table. “I've had my heart broken so many fucking times it would make you laugh.”

“Would it?” 

“Yeah. Nobody really cares, you know? Nobody ever really wants  _ you,  _ they just want what they can get from you.”

“I want you.”

Gavin grimaces. He waves dismissively. “You'll change your mind.”

“I don't believe I will.”

They don't speak for a moment, letting the silence fill with the sounds of the football game on TV and rain drumming on the roof. RK isn't sure what to say next. Is this what Connor had to deal with when he first shared his feelings with Lieutenant Anderson? RK makes a note to ask him later.

“Do you like me, Gavin?”

Gavin’s eyes dart up to meet RK’s, then quickly flick away. His face is flushed, his heart rate elevated. “Fuck you.”

“It’s a simple question.”

“Fuck. I don’t want to hear this ‘portion of affection’ shit again, RK.”

“But—”

“Shut up.”

“Gavin.”

“Shut up!” Gavin flings a pillow at him, which RK catches in both hands.

RK takes in the way Gavin’s pupils are dilated, the way his teeth are bared in clear anger. “Why does discussing emotions cause you to react this way, Gavin?”

Gavin almost upends the pizza box on the table before him as he gets up. He heads for his bedroom, offering his middle finger when RK tries to call him back.

RK follows him and tries to open the door. It’s locked.

He can see what would happen if he kicked the door down, pre-constructed scenarios flickering across his HUD. Gavin would get angry. They would fight and RK would end up bloodying Gavin’s nose. Then there would be sex.

The same as every other night. Nothing would change.

RK turns away from the door and goes home instead.

 

 

 

He doesn’t invite RK over again for days. At work, he’s unusually quiet.

When RK finally gets a text telling him to come over, there’s a marked change in Gavin’s behavior. He doesn’t snap at RK as much. He actually seems to appreciate the company. And when they have sex, he doesn’t put up as much of a fight.

When RK enters him, he goes quiet except for a few soft moans, pushing back against the strap-on thrusting into him. He’s lost in a wave of pleasure. RK entertains himself by watching the way the muscles of his back flex as he gets closer. He likes the way Gavin gets louder, too. He digs his fingers into Gavin’s waist with one hand, pressing his head into the pillow with the other. Gavin lets loose a string of muffled, half-coherent words that almost sound like sobs.

On most nights, that’s all he needs. He comes without being touched, mouth open in a strained cry. When RK lets him go, he collapses onto the sheets, his chest heaving.

“Fuck,” he whispers one night, so quietly that RK’s audio processors almost miss it. “Fuck that was good.”

He’s still naked, tangled up in the sheets. He watches from beneath half-lidded eyes as RK removes the strap-on and makes a valiant attempt to clean up the mess they’ve made, before climbing into bed beside him, wearing only his boxer briefs.

“Shit.” There’s something akin to wonder in Gavin’s eyes as he takes in the sight of RK’s body.

RK tries to imagine what he sees. He knows that CyberLife gave him a body that many humans would consider attractive: broad shoulders, flat stomach, slender legs. Gavin’s body is softer than his, hairier and scarred all over. RK likes to touch him. Gavin’s skin is always warm beneath his fingers.

“Shit,” Gavin says again as RK settles cross-legged beside him. “You're hot as hell.”

It’s an odd thing for Gavin to say while sober.

RK runs a quick analysis to make sure Gavin’s blood alcohol content is normal. He hadn’t seen any signs of him drinking tonight, but he couldn’t be too careful.

“My facial features are very similar to Connor’s,” RK says. “And you’ve told me often how much you detest his face.”

Gavin snorts. “You're nothing like that stupid puppy dog.” He pauses. “Well, except that you’re both smartasses.”

He chuckles to himself, teeth flashing in the light of the lamp beside the bed. He looks almost happy tonight, with one hand behind his head and the other resting on his belly.

RK likes Gavin best like this: loose-limbed, grinning sleepily, completely spent of the nervous energy that makes him snap at everyone at work all day. Gavin doesn't even protest when RK reaches out to touch his arm.

Warm as always, and slightly damp with sweat.

“Feeling sentimental tonight, are we, RK?”

“Maybe.”

“My dad always said that you gotta watch things like that. Feelings and shit. They can lead to trouble if you’re not careful.”

RK can’t think of another time when Gavin has spoken about his family. Gavin’s changed a lot in the past several months, though. He used to kick RK out of the house once they were done having sex, but now he seems to want RK to stick around.

“I don’t talk to him much these days, but he’s a good guy,” Gavin says. “Did I ever tell you about him?”

“I don’t think you have.”

Gavin chuckles again. “You know when I found out I was gay?”

RK considers this. “It’s common for humans to realize their preferences in adolescence.”

“Adolescence. Yeah, that was it. You wanna know how much fucking misery I've been through since then? I used to...” Gavin chuckles, shaking his head. ”I used to tell my cat about the boys I liked at school. Couldn't trust anyone else.”

“My dad was the first person who found out I was gay. In high school" Gavin scratches his stomach absently. "Caught me making out with a guy in my room. He wasn’t mad. He just asked me if I was happy and said he still loved me." He snorted. “He can be an ass, but he's alright most of the time.”

“Did he ever tell you how to treat your sexual partners?”

Gavin wrinkled his nose. “Didn’t matter what he told me. They all turned out to be assholes.” He rolled onto his side, propping his head up on an elbow. “Settle in, RK. I’m gonna tell you a fucking story.”

RK folds his hands in his lap and waits. Gavin is behaving so far out of character that he hardly wants to break the spell.

“There was this punkass in high school. Used to drag me into the locker room after football games and feel me up after everyone left. One day, I told him I loved him. He outed me to the whole fucking school. Told them I  _ made  _ him touch me.

“There was a real pretty guy in college. He treated me real nice. Said he'd never leave me. Said he always thought about kissing me. But then one day, he stopped answering my texts. He wouldn't return my calls. Then I saw that he'd blocked me online. I never found out why.

“After college, I said I'd never love another fucker ever again. Guess what happened? Fell head over heels for this dude I met online. He had gorgeous eyes and he could make me laugh like no one else. But when I told him how I felt, he was real quick to say he actually liked someone else.

“I’ve been fucked by a lot of guys, RK. Most of them better than you, if I’m being completely fucking honest.”

RK raises an eyebrow at that, but says nothing.

“But you know what they all have in common? They’re all liars.” Gavin falls back onto the bed, his eyes growing distant. “I've been hurt too many times, RK. I'm not going to risk getting my heart broken again, understand? I just need the sex and I'm good.”

“I understand,” RK said, but he didn’t.

 

 

 

RK begins spending the night more often. When they have sex now, Gavin sometimes wants to kiss him. It's a thrilling experience. Gavin kisses as if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He fists his hands in RK’s shirt and keeps him close. RK turns up the sensitivity of his facial sensors so he can relish in the prickling of Gavin’s beard.

Gavin's also not afraid to let RK see his face anymore, the way his mouth falls open in a silent cry when he comes. He wants to get fucked in every room of the house, it seems. On the kitchen floor, on the couch, in the bathtub. Once, RK got him up against the kitchen table and jerked him off with a practiced fist.

Gavin had been like putty in his arms after that.

RK captures those moments, saving them in a special folder. Sometimes, when Gavin is asleep, he replays those recordings to himself. Trying to discover their secrets. To understand more about the man who refuses to discuss his feelings but still insists on falling asleep in his arms.

Gavin can’t sleep some nights, wandering outside to the back porch to puff away on a cigarette until his head is wreathed in smoke. RK often joins him, and together they watch the lights of downtown Detroit in the distance and listen to the occasional sounds of crickets in the bushes.

“I got a question for you, RK,” Gavin says one night. He’s sitting cross-legged on the floorboards in just a bathrobe and his boxers, his back against the wall of the house. RK has perched on the steps, his hands on his knees.

“Yes?” RK’s attention is on the cluster of moths circling the neighbor’s backyard light.

Gavin inhales, the end of his cigarette briefly flaring in the darkness. His face is pinched, as if he’s been hurt. “Why are you still here?”

“What do you mean? You texted me. You wanted me to be here.”

“No.” Gavin gestures vaguely around them. “Why are you... _ here _ ?”

“I want to be here.”

“Are you sure?”

RK isn’t sure how to answer that.

“Nobody ever stays this long,” Gavin murmurs, so quietly that RK guesses he wasn’t meant to hear that.

“I truly enjoy your company, Gavin.”

A sudden laugh bursts forth, along with a puff of smoke. Gavin takes his cigarette between two fingers and squints at RK. “No shit?”

“You are a fascinating human,” RK says. He hadn’t expected Gavin to be open to talking, but he’s prepared nonetheless. “I appreciate the ways in which you’re different from anyone else I’ve ever met.”

“The ways in which I’m an asshole, you mean.”

RK inclines his head. “That is part of it, yes.”

Gavin starts to laugh again, but breaks off into a coughing fit instead.

“Ahh...” His head lolls back, teeth glittering. “You picked the wrong human, RK.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think you can change me the way Connor changed Hank. You think you can make me into the kind of cop that everybody likes.” Gavin turns his head aside to spit into the bushes. “That ain’t fucking happening, RK. I’ve gotten this far by being who I am, you understand? I don’t plan on changing.”

“But—”

“What? But what?” Gavin grinds his cigarette butt into the floorboard. “Go ahead and try to change my fucking mind.”

RK manages to suppress a strange urge to grin. “You’ve already changed, Gavin.”

He gets a grunt in response.

“Yes, you are an asshole. But that doesn’t change the fact that I deeply care for you now, and that’s something that I do not believe will change anytime soon.”

“Fuck.” There’s a note of pain in Gavin’s voice. “Fuck you.”

“I’d rather fuck you.”

Gavin shows his teeth. “Get over here then.”

They’re slipping back into the old pattern, RK thinks. Talk, argue, fuck, sleep. But as Gavin pulls him in for a kiss, he feels the brief gratification of a minor objective being met.

They’ve talked a little. It’s a start.

Gavin breaks the kiss first, his eyes half-lidded, head tilted back as he peers into RK’s face. He fists his hand in RK’s shirt.

“You’re a fucking punkass, you know that?”

RK only grins and climbs into his lap.

They kiss again, and when Gavin begins to roll his hips, RK lets him move.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on [tumblr](http://lunar-winterlude.tumblr.com)


End file.
